Literally my favorite vine of all time
i don’t care about straight girls who are afraid to cut their hair short in case they get called lesbians, i care about the fact that lesbians are being used as fucking insults
*cop pulls me over*
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
"Nice. Nice. So are you a virgin?"
i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe
life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.” months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”